Well, it is what it is. Jealousy is one ugly bitch. The moment in life that everyone in your life has started to be in the next phase of their life, Something heavy hit you up like a gut punch making you realize that you are alone. I can assure you that its a really horrible feeling. Something I do not wish upon my enemy to go through such feelings. When your relationship status is a wreck, but your best friend ends up in good one. As much as you would feel to wish the best for him, you would also feel jealousy seep into your heart and try to consume you.
It still feels like a gut punch, but I guess I have grown to be more numb to its pain. I guess, all I have is to be pissed off at myself and be angry at myself for marrying someone, who valued saving their tails more than whom they marry.
I definitely can't say that I am happy. I can definitely think that I can start to move towards a goal. A better a career and a better healthy life. Lets see how these things wind up for me!